It is seldom helpful to tell the other person they need a time-out. Remember to call the time-out for yourself.Please give me an hour to calm down and gather my thoughts.” What specific, unique physical and emotional reactions indicate your need for a time-out?Ĭall a time-out for yourself by saying something like “I don’t think we are having a productive discussion.Learn to recognize the signs that things have become too intense for you to have productive interaction with your partner.It will be beneficial, for your part, to purpose in your heart to be constructive.Īre your fists clenched? Is your face red? Are you breathing fast? Is your voice raised? Are tears streaming down your face? Do you feel like screaming or throwing something? Are you afraid of your partner’s intensity? Do you feel emotionally closed-off? There is destructive conflict and constructive conflict. Remember that conflict is healthy, and all couples experience it. A timeout provides couples with an opportunity to cool down, identify their feelings and needs, and begin to think productively again about how to approach the issues they face. This is when a “timeout” can be beneficial. Moreover, it is nearly impossible to have a productive conversation leading to a mutually agreed-upon resolution. In this state of escalation, it is not uncommon to say or do things we later regret. Physiologically, the “fight or flight” response is triggered as each person goes into a protection mode with little or no regard for their partner. Rather than listening actively, partners interrupt, belittle, and ignore. Rather than speaking assertively, partners begin to accuse, criticize, or yell. Some conflicts become heated as levels of frustration rise. Posted 11-30-2017 by Michael Mahan & filed under Marriage/Couples, Uncategorized.
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